How to Live and Laugh the Outhouse Way
 

SEND US YOUR POETRY about OUTHOUSES, and...
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    Okay, if your poetry is posted in the OutHouse, we will send send you a "Golden OutHouseGraffiti.Com Laugh Your Butt Off Award" in your email, (another words, a really lame certificate).  You also get to tell everyone that you got "published" on the internet.  Who knows, you might become famous or something!  Whoo-whoo!! 

    THE OUTHOUSE POEM 
    Author Unknown
    The service station trade was slow
    The owner sat around, 
    With sharpened knife and cedar stick 
    Piled shavings on the ground. 

    No modern facilities had they, 
    The log across the rill 
    Led to a shack, marked His and Hers 
    That sat against the hill. 

    "Where is the ladies restroom, sir?" 
    The owner leaning back, 
    Said not a word but whittled on, 
    And nodded toward the shack. 

    With quickened step she entered there 
    But only stayed a minute, 
    Until she screamed, just like a snake 
    Or spider might be in it. 

    With startled look and beet red face 
    She bounded through the door, 
    And headed quickly for the car 
    Just like three gals before. 

    She missed the foot log - jumped the stream The owner gave a shout, 
    As her silk stockings, down at her knees 
    Caught on a sassafras sprout. 

    She tripped and fell - got up, and then 
    In obvious disgust, 
    Ran to the car, stepped on the gas, 
    And faded in the dust. 

    Of course we all desired to know 
    What made the gals all do 
    The things they did, and then we found 
    The whittling owner knew. 

    A speaking system he'd devised 
    To make the thing complete, 
    He tied a speaker on the wall 
    Beneath the toilet seat. 

    He'd wait until the gals got set 
    And then the devilish tike, 
    Would stop his whittling long enough, 
    To speak into the mike. 

    And as she sat, a voice below 
    Struck terror, fright and fear, 
    "Will you please use the other hole, 
    We're painting under here!"

outhouse@outhousegraffiti.com

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